Hooking up need not be so complicated!

I believe it is common knowledge that men are more visually stimulated than women. This woman is okay with that difference between us. I will play that game and speak that language because well, thanks to genetics and a taste for pretty clothing, I can do this almost effortlessly. [I do wonder how this will work as my body ages, but let's table that for now].

I am okay with the fact that men are probably not interested in me for conversation, really, this is fine. But my brain, and the majority of other womens brains from the brightest to the dimmest, are wired to be more stimulated by conversation than by appearance alone. Over tens of thousands of years, we women have to pick and choose mens genes for more than a pretty face, we need a bold and smart man who can protect us and our offspring. Confidence goes a long way, right? That's why! We didn't suddenly re-wire our brains in the last century. A century is next to nothing to our hard wired need to procreate. What the hell do we think romance is anyway? So since I know this and also because I have sons and have learned to adore the differences between the female and male brains, I can accept that men might not truly be interested in me romantically for my viewpoints about global human rights, my fascination with historical and sexual anthropology, political philosophy (not daily political news clips), Jungian psychology, and alternative medicine. But I cannot accept that they don't at least pretend to be intrigued! Of course, it would be marvelous if they were interested in the same things, but my chances of hooking up would be severely diminished if I were truly so selective!

You see, how am I supposed to be stimulated at all unless a man at least plays along and acts interested? That's what they call "game" and the game of picking up a woman is very real, it's mostly a natural response in conversation between the sexes, it's not neccessarily sleaze every time.

Obviously, it's better if he really IS interested and is attempting to listen (I say attempting because studies have indicated that men really sometimes tune out a woman's voice if she doesn't get to the point quickly enough), even if he doesn't share my views, because that's genuine conversational effort! But when you get to the bottom line, our sexual attraction to each other, that so-called spark is what matters, the nuance in facial expressions, our mirrored body language, our softened voices, etc. I actually don't care if we have oppositional views! Just be attuned!

It's the game of appearing interested that matters. Whether my interests are in line with the average American male (like say, ESPN) or whether I am interested only in the more traditionally female interests, like fashion, pop culture and gossip (it's true I am interested in these too), men just have to play along...tell me again how beautiful I am...and if I was already attracted to you physically (and pay close attention to my signals because I am usually not!), I will just melt. It's that easy. Act like you are falling in love with me (act...meaning just allow yourself to do so, don't be chicken) and then we will probably have a good chance of sleeping together, as long as you don't act too desperate.

Simple! At least to a female brain. Oh women: we know and they know, we know they know, but they don't know we know that they know.