We had planned all week to try out Texas Roadhouse for supper on a Friday night, as a new one had just opened up in our city. We had agreed that we wanted to make it early to beat the dinner rush. DH had promised to be home around 5:30PM, but when that time came and he had still not left work, I expressed disappointment.
After he got home and we headed to the restaurant, DH yelled at me and threatened me. He brought up other disagreements about how he spends his time, including his typical choice to go to the gym after work, even though he already leaves work later than he should in order to spend some time with the kids and help around the house before bedtime. I usually express my opinion and ask why he doesn't just go to the gym in the mornings or at lunch, or even leave work early in the evening and go then...but DH doesn't want to be questioned. Regardless, the gym time is not relevant to this argument, yet he brings it up along with his other laundry list of reasons he hates me, all in an effort to avoid admitting any responsibility for showing up on time to have a Friday night dinner out with our young children.
He eventually calmed down, we did have to wait, but we got a table in an acceptable time and luckily the boys did not become cranky.
No reason for this drama! He was late and unapologetic as usual. I don't know why he can't just say, "I am so sorry, I just got caught up at work on a project, I should have let it go and just left at 5 like I promised." Instead, he becomes angered that I am expressing my hurt feelings that he didn't think having dinner with us was important enough to be conscientuous and leave work on time.
*DH is essentially self-employed, so he can come and go as he pleases.
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It's all to clear that his vision of your marriage was that you and your children were nothing but window dressing, sunject to his whim and fancy as to when and where and how he wanted you to be.
ReplyDeleteCongratulation then are in order, for stepping out of the box and taking ownership of your's and your childrens' rights to be seen and heard.