Filed today

It's DH's birthday, but this has to be how it is. It's my first opportunity since the drama before Thanksgiving to see my attorney and begin the process.

I filed a petition for divorce today, 12/4/2008.

I was feeling a little crazytime, so after I called DH to inform him that I had filed, somehow I asked the name of his mistresses husband. I don't know why I asked, I guess because I just felt so in the dark about what DH has been up to all these months of cheating on me. I don't think I really had any intention of calling this man, but I was assuming that he was blindsided like me. Not neccessarily! Even though DH has told me that their divorce is already in the works, I wondered if her husband knew that Ta Ta was seeing DH. DH became furious with me and threatened to take away my kids if I dared to contact Ta Ta's husband. He claimed I was being uncool. As if I care about being cool to Ta Ta? I said not nearly as uncool as letting another woman's husband stick their dick in me and then being able to look the wife and mother in the eye at her child's blastball games, but whatevs. This angered him, of course, because I was poking fun at the absurdity of trying to be "cool" in this situation. He's angered because he believes delusionally that he doesn't do anything wrong since I am apparently the only one in the world who knows about and points out his wrongdoings. Majority rules, I suppose. And I do wrong by mocking people, that's one of his biggest pet peeves. I am somehow worse because I say how things are and try earnestly to see the humor in it all. But in his rant, he indicated that her husband already had a live-in girlfriend anyway and wouldn't care about whatever information I had...

Wait. Already has a live-in girlfriend!?! It was at this point that I backed off and in my heart was wondering where are all the good people? I had seen Ta Ta and her husband and their daughter together as recently as late August at the HOA National Night Out. And he already has a girlfriend serious enough to move in to their house? The same house he technically still owned with Ta Ta?

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel any sympathy for Ta Ta. But I feel tremendously naive today, that's for sure. People sure do make ridiculous decisions based on their hormonal urges. Why am I in the minority? Where is my tribe? The ones who would never do these things?